don't you hate it when people want you to BE GOOD
'Wait. You didn't know the guys smoke? Where have you been all this time?' someone once said to me.
I've lived ignorantly.
**
The first time I learned that the guys I've always sat with studying smoked, I was shocked. Just lots and lots of guys clinging with girls, smoking. I was invited to a party but nobody seemed interested to rope me into a conversation. I wouldn't want to anyways, not when the cigarette smokes goes to my face.
This was no ordinary house. It doesn't try to look ostentatious but the floor tiles makes you wonder what the family does. There were no adults present at the house; its said to be a year-end party but clearly invites were tightly-kept.
I mainly came for L. At least, we got to chat. 'Don't you ever wonder what happens when we die?' 'Yeah'
Besides my puppy love, I have no idea why I came there. I should've guessed it when A. came.
'Hey' grin
'Don't smoke because of us' says the guys as they take a whiff. 'Yeah, don't' another quips
I felt like a little kid, uninvited to the adult conversation.
If I still had my elementary school mentality, I would've taken a piece of cigarette and smoked right there and then.
Sitting in the corner of the garden, from the distance, a guy, the only guy there not smoking, laughs over something funny with his girlfriend sitting next, in just a year, they would break up.
'Feel free to take the pizza' the host smiles at me (no one's even eating, at least yet).
I washed my hands, grabbed some tissue, nod to some people.
Tf am I here? I thought. Everybody's cordial to me but the same thing can be said of strangers.
I left in no sooner than one and half hour. I don't think L missed me.