dissecting mom
If there's one person I dislike, it would be my mom. But dislike is a too strong of a word. The way I see her is, if I was in a Truman show, "you're seeing this?" It's funny because I have a strong feeling she sees her mom this way too. Every time she has a phone call with her mom, she looks and sounds incredibly annoyed. I recognize the tone. But who am I to judge? The times she talks nicely; sometimes I can sense when that's just her trying to put up good behavior.
The night of grandma's birthday, we were late for dinner, everybody had already finished their food by the time we'd arrived, because, try guess, she spent way too long on her makeover, fully knowing how long it would take to get there. 'oh so sorry, we were late. the traffic was horrible'. She's dishonest.
Worst of all, when she demands being 'loved' back I wish I have the ability to just say 'who aRe yoU?'. She's a buzzkill whenever she appears. If you disagree with her, it is apparent from her face that it's personal for her. She's angry ANGRY. Whenever that happens, I'd have to defuse the ticking bomb.
I don't fully hate her though. A broken clock is right twice a day. She's the byproduct of the parenting style: 'Authoritative parenting is strict, anything else is permissive' (she've said this word by word). As a result, she's just so far out of depth emotionally to me.
More frustrating when you consider she's religious. The books that rack: 'How to be a good Christian mom' What have she been reading? Talk about being the light of the world.
So I should be grateful I have a mom. But do I consider her as my mom MOM? No. Not really.