birthday surprise
i was watching 'sounds of winter' when a scene of the protagonist being handed a birthday gift by her boyfriend made me quip to myself "wow. Could I do that one day?"
handing birthday gifts isn't something I am used to when I got into college (it was the girls that showed me an example)
my family doesn't do that with me. they just ask me: what do you want? and i would never know what I want so They'd give me some time to think about it. Handing a birthday card/wish was the norm. A birthday gift was something extra, a bonus if you will. Unsurprisingly, I find planning birthday gifts a nuisance including! birthday surprises.
I say this as somebody who never had a birthday surprise until I got into college; friends singing and handing you a birthday cake. Nor have I ever ate out simply because it was my birthday. I don't need it.
[Sorry, never was a lie. I wanted to make it dramatic. But I've been surprised once.]
i think it's because of I show a lack of interest towards birthdays that people just naturally forget my birthday. i can't tell.
'omg you had a birthday last week? why didn't you tell me?!'
i don't need eat outs, parties, cakes, gifts, or any of it for my birthday (though they're always nice but they're not necessary). To make me happy is really simple: just remember or know it is my birthday and that is enough.
But I don't hold a grudge either.
Those who do, I really cherish it.
Close to a decade ago, I was buying a snack from a stall, I don't know how the conversation began, maybe the lady from the stall could read my face idk, the lady said: "Why, is it your birthday or something?". After (almost) an entire day of being forgotten, I was about to fall into tears.
"Please. Take anything you want"
And countless people next to the stall started wishing me a happy birthday.
I never forgot that.
But I'm a hypocrite. I don't keep a calendar of people's birthdays. Actually, I do. But something I don't see, I forget.
So. Somebody, whose birthday I remember (even if they're late which is most of the time) without needing a calendar AND being a family relative, is somebody I consider to be incredibly dear to me. Dear than dear. Tiers above wishing a birthday because people are sending a birthday wish in the groupchat.